Every school class has
their share of "characters", OTHER THAN ME! In Mrs. Hutchins' (Who was a character
herself) 6th grade class, we had the most infamous character by the
name of George. George was what we would
call today, "A slow learner" and would surely be in the "special
needs class" these days. Of course, back then they didn't have
"special needs classes" for kids like him. They just threw them into
the class with the rest of us "normal" kids and hoped for the best.
George contributed to our ongoing amusement due to his antics. Now that I think
back, I wonder if he was really "slow" or was just hoodwinking us by
"putting on an act". If he did, he was a genius. I only recall George
being with us in the 6th grade. He may have been with us longer, but
I can't be precise at this point in time. Maybe some of my classmates who read
my stories can correct me if I am in error. Let me know.
I shall mention first the
most memorable and infamous event that George will always be remembered for. We
were having health class and Mrs. Hutchins was performing a dreaded oral quiz
relating to our health book lessons. Fortunately, this was the kind of quiz
that depended on volunteers to raise their hands and answer questions. The vast
majority of the time we guys could count on all the girls to raise their hands
to answer the various health questions. However, from time to time Mrs.
Hutchins would call on one of us guys even if we didn't have our hands raised.
Pretty sneaky! When I was involuntarily called on, I usually got the correct
answer since most all of the questions could be answered using common sense.
During one such session, before Mrs. Hutchins had asked a question, she looked
at George, who never raised his hand for anything, and asked, "Do you want to take one, George?"
He slowly nodded his head. Mrs. Hutchins seemed pleased that she would
finally hear from him and finally make him a part of the class learning
activities. She asked him, "What is
the first set of teeth called? There was silence for a while as George
contemplated the answer. Finally, after several seconds of silence interspersed
with many "Ahhhs", he
exclaimed, "The false?" Needless to say, the whole
class roared with laughter. Mrs. Hutchins expression said it all. She rolled her
eyes up as if to say to herself, "I just
had to ask him a question didn't I!"
Another noteworthy incident
involved our desks. Mrs. Hutchins just couldn't tolerate messy desk storage. I
don't know what kind of desks kids have these days, but back then, the desktop
swung up and we stored things below. Of course, Mrs. Hutchins was always
telling me to straighten up my desk. She knew which of us guys needed frequent
desk inspections, and of course, I was always admonished to straighten it out.
One day, she apparently was not in a very understanding state of mind as she approached
George's desk. She opened it and said angrily to George, "It looks like a rat's nest in there!" She told George to
stand up and then she pushed his desk on the floor. Of course, all of the
contents tumbled out of his desk on to the floor. She then yelled, "You get that desk clean right
now!" He up righted his desk and spent the next several minutes
attempting to put things back in a somewhat orderly matter. I don't recall that
she did anything else as drastic as that; I think she just wanted him to at
least make some kind of an effort.
Another noteworthy event
occurred during art class. We were all doing projects with pasting things on
construction paper. Of course, George was "doing his own thing" and
not participating with the rest of the class. He finally picked up some pieces
of construction paper he had haphazardly cut, coated the bottom of one with
paste, and put another on top. He then said, "I'm going to eat a paste sandwich". And by golly he did!
That really grossed all of us out. Mrs. Hutchins could only look at him and
slowly shake her head. By this time, she seemed to lose all desire to try to
help him to get anything out of the class. After that, she just ignored him as
best she could. Of course, all of us kids teased him all the time since he
supplied us with never ending amusement.
As I alluded to at the
outset, I wonder if he was a genius in getting laughs and deliberately acting
slow thus getting out of all the academic labors the rest of us had to go
through since they probably passed him to the next grade anyway.
This reminds me of the old
joke about the guy who wanted to get out of the Army. He constantly walked
around in a trance saying, "That's
not it". Finally, they sent him to the Army Psychiatrist who
recommended discharge under the infamous Section 8, based on a mental disorder.
When he finally got his Section 8 discharge, he looked at it and said, "That's
it"!!! I sure would like
to locate George today. Based on my suspicions, by using his clever
subterfuges, it wouldn't surprise me to see him the head of some corporation
and brag that he obtained all of his success the easy way because people
thought he qualified for special privileges under the Americans with
Disabilities Act. Indeed, he would have
the last laugh on us as George would say with glee, That's it!!!
