When we were around 10 or so, they decided to redo the downstairs kitchen. It definitely needed it. For one thing, the old plaster ceiling was sagging under the upstairs bathtub. It’s amazing it didn’t fall through the floor! I figured the next bath anyone took; they would end up on the downstairs kitchen floor, bathtub and all! I mentioned this to my mother in order to get out of taking baths. She still insisted I take baths in spite of the inherent danger. Oh, well, at least I tried. After the kitchen walls and ceiling were torn up seemingly forever, they finally completed the task. The walls and ceiling of the kitchen now had smooth drywall and they painted it light yellow.

 

It wasn’t long after, that Tim and I grew tall enough to jump and hit the kitchen ceiling with our fingers. We really felt “grown up” that we were finally tall enough to do that. Tim did it now and then, but due to my compulsive tendencies, I did it far too much. Every time I came into the kitchen, I had to jump up and touch the ceiling. Sometimes I would purposely go into the kitchen just to jump and touch the ceiling when the urge became overpowering. Since I usually got a running start, the ceiling eventually was full of dirty streak marks from my perpetually dirty fingers dragging across it. In fact there were so many of them, they covered just about all the ceiling. Everyone else, if they even noticed, probably wondered how all those dirty streaks got all over the new ceiling since I rarely if ever jumped up and touched the ceiling when any “grown up” was in the vicinity.

 

In addition to the dirty streak marks, the ceiling had hundreds, if not thousands, of “flyspecks” all over it as well. One time when no one else was around, Tim and I decided to make hamburgers. We took a clob of ground beef, and not having a hamburger press, we used our hands to squeeze the patties thin enough to where we preferred them. This failed too. One of us got the great idea to throw them up against the kitchen ceiling. We threw one up as hard as we could and it stuck to the ceiling. We stood on a chair and peeled it off and found that after a few throws that they were thin and round enough to where we preferred them. This of course resulted in many big grease marks in addition to the finger streak marks and all the flyspecks. When we think back, it was gross that we ate the patties in spite of them being full of flyspecks and dirt from the streak marks, but at least we cooked them first.

 

On other occasions, we would shoot our dart guns at the ceiling and the suction cup darts would stick upside down. Since they stick the best when they’re wet, we would repeatedly lick them each time in spite of the dirty finger streaks and flyspecks and by that time, the rancid hamburger grease. Most of the time we shot darts at some of the countless flies on the wall or ceiling. Once and a while a “lucky shot” would squash a fly! We would lick the dart suction cup and continue to shoot flies. With all the dirty and germy objects we stuck inside our mouths those years, we must have had one whale of immunity to germs built up! Even now, I rarely get sick.

 

Sometimes we would use a big plunger for the ultimate suction cup dart. We would run some water in the sink, then dip the plunger in it and throw it either against the kitchen wall or the ceiling. The plunger would stick, and then as it lost suction, the handle would start to slowly move from side to side until it fell to the floor. In addition to dirty finger streak marks, flyspecks, and hamburger patty grease, now there were rims of plunger marks on the ceiling. In addition to all that, there were stains and soiled spots of unknown origin. That poor ceiling sure got a lot of abuse from Tim and me. Of course, in those days we abused EVERYTHING.

 

My present kitchen ceiling does have some flyspecks, but no dirty finger streak marks (wellllll, maybe not too many anyway.) J I’ve had a hamburger press for quite sometime! The reason is, if I care to “speck”ulate is that I’m much more mindful of germs now. (I sure hope I never loose that hamburger press!)