During the whole time
Tim and I were “coming of age,” we crossed paths with a vast assortment of “characters.”
There were so many, that I am planning
to describe some of them in a series of stories. (Yeah, I know… “It takes
one to know one,” therefore; I can speak with authority since I will freely
admit that I have “A little space to rent” too)! The first “character” I will
describe is Clair Kittinger. I’m not sure of the correct spelling, but I AM
sure he would certainly be classified as a real “character”! Clair owned and operated TEACO, which was one
of the local “Beer Joints,” and where Tim and I “hung out” in all the time as
kids. Even as kids, we noticed that Clair was “kind of weird.” If a customer
came in and he was in the back, if the customer didn’t IMMEDIATELY tell Clair
what he wanted to drink when he came out, he would duck back into the back. He
would do this until the customer immediately told him what they wanted the
instant he came out. He lived in the back of the small building and the whole
place was a barred fortress! All the windows had flat bars over them and there
was a big flat-barred door that went in front of both entrances. They say he
always slept with a pistol under his pillow! One of the most memorable things
about Clair was that he decided to get some cats for pets. He built a large
enclosed area outside the building with chicken wire and 4-inch by 4-inch
beams! While he was building the cat enclosure, one of our kid friends, Kelly
M., asked Clair is a very mocking tone of voice, “Hey Clair, you think those
4 x 4’s will hold those cats in OK”? In all seriousness, Clair replied, “I
sure hope so.” There used to be a
neat bowling game in his place that had a real scaled-down bowling ball for the
plastic front half bowling pins that would flip up as the ball hit them. Tim
and I would roll the ball back and forth along the ball return until one day we
noticed Clair had put some chicken wire ( left over from the cat project, I’m
sure), over the ball return slot so we couldn’t reach inside to get it. I also
remember a sign he had made over the Juke Box that read, “Positively No Dancing.”
We happened to be in there as he was working on the sign and he asked our dad
how to spell “Positively”! He got very upset if the patrons were too loud or
rowdy and would retreat to the back and not wait on anyone until it was quiet!
Looking back, I have to wonder why he was in the “Beer Joint” business in the
first place since noise and rowdiness naturally accompanies beer and liquor
drinking! We used to see some really neat “barroom fights” in there! One time
some guy got drunk and started to explode firecrackers INSIDE the building!
That was neat to see all the smoke in there! They kicked us out before the
sheriff got there! They also kicked us out before the fights got “really good”
too! Gee, we sure missed out on a lot of neat stuff when we were kids! Clair
may have been a little eccentric, but he made the best barroom soups and chili
I have ever eaten anywhere; and
that includes New Mexico, Louisiana, and Texas! His chili has been the
benchmark for all chili I’ve ever had thereafter! It’s too bad someone didn’t
get his recipe before he died. Hey, as eccentric as I am, if that what it takes
for good chili, then I could have made a fortune! It may not have been in “cold
cash,” but it would have been at least “chili” cash! I can see it now …“Mike’s Silly Chili” “Eccentricity
in every can”! in truck stops
all over the U.S.! Alas, they say hindsight is “20-20”…
