WELCOME TO MIKE’S BASEBALL QUIZ!

 

o       What famous novel was written about a baseball player?  Catcher in the Rye.

o       Why didn’t the hypochondriac baseball player ever play any games?  He was afraid he would “catch” something!

o       What do you call a formal dance for chickens?  A “foul” ball.

o       What is an unmowed ball field called?  A “diamond” in the rough.

o       What did the unwashed and smelly outfielder attract?  “Flies”.

o       What kind of balls do flys play baseball with?  “Fly” balls.

o       What is the favorite cake for baseball players?  “Bunt” cake.

o       Why can’t anyone ever locate a lousy baseball player?  He’s always “out”.

o       What kind of music do batters like?  “Swing”.

o       What kind of checkers do baseball players always play?  “Stadium” Checkers.

o       What does a manger do with a base runner who is ineffective?  Sends him back to the “Base”ics”.

o       What did the parents of the teenage baseball do when he refused to fly right?  They “grounded” him.

o       What kind of songs do successful batters always produce?  “Hits”

o       How can you determine the female sex of a baseball?  By its curves.

o       What are girl baseballs called when they have loose morals?  “Fast” balls.

o       What do you call baseballs that are retarded?  “Slow” balls.

o       What kind of drinks do successful hitters always order?  A “double”.

o       What did the infield ball player do to save time on his long trip?  Short stops.

o       What did the heroin addict donate to the baseball team?  A “free base”.

o       What was the final result of the constipated baseball pitcher’s perfect game?  No “runs”.

o       Why did the manager take the pitcher with diarrhea out of the game?  Too many “runs”.

o       What do you call a ball player with 2 heads?  A “double header”.

o       What did the baseball player say to the reporter when he asked him how he liked baseball? He said that it had a lot of “In”nings and “outs”.

o       What do you call a baseball that is no longer the star of the game?  A has “bean” ball.

o       What did the mitt say to the baseball when they left each other?  I’ll catch you later.

o       What are the favorite mascots of baseball teams?  Bats.

o       What did the mother of the young baseball do when he was bad? She “Ball”ed him out.

o       Why did the red seam always get the right answers on every test?  It was “on the ball”.

o       What position do liberal democrat ball players play?  Left field.

o       What position do conservative ball players play?  Right field.

o       What position do moderate ball players play?  Center field.

o       What position do Munchkins play?  Short Stop.

o       What position do photographers play?  “Pitchers”

o       What position do house foundations play?  Any of the bases.

o       What position does fly paper play?  Catcher.

o       What position do blind people play?  Umpires

o       What was the pitcher arrested for?  “Throwing” the game.

o       What baseball team plays in Heaven?  The California Angels.

o       Why was the American League player trounced on his try out for the Cincinnati Reds given in Hang chow, China?  It was way out of his league.

o       What kind of drinks do fly balls drink?  Highballs.

o       Why wasn’t the baseball game between the mental hospital patients  and the psychiatrists played?  It was called off on account of “Sane”.

o       What do you call the writer of this quiz?  OFF HIS MEDS AGAIN!