I seem to be on the "things-you-don't see-anymore-these-days" kick lately. Nevertheless, I'll add yet one more thing to the list. When was the last time anyone has sighted young girls "jumping rope"? Back in the 1950's when I was in grade school, "jumping rope" was the main activity of every young girl during recess. Rather than "jumping rope", it was usually referred to as "skipping rope" or "skip rope". This particular activity was limited only to the girls, of course. No self-respecting boy would be caught dead doing this, or for that matter be within 10 feet of any girl. A minimum distance of 10 feet away from any girl was just past the "cootie range", which, of course, all girls had in those days. If any of us guys happened to get too close to a girl and got cooties, we had ample supplies of Cootie Spray on hand which promptly removed them. However, later on when the hormones started to flow inside us guys, the "cooties" started to mysteriously die off or jump onto younger girls.  Running a close 2^nd to getting "cooties", no self-respecting boy would ever "skip" rope with or without girls. To dare to do so would immediately tag him as a "sissy" by all the rest of the macho non "skip" rope boys. The only thing we boys skipped was school. Later on a few older guys would skip a blood test, skip bail, and then skip town after discovering 9 months earlier all the cooties that girls had before then were suddenly gone.

 

All the girls had "store bought" jump ropes, which were usually white and had small red or blue stripes running lengthwise. They also had plastic or wooden ends to hold on to. These were mostly red. No girl ever jumped rope by themselves like boxers do. They always did it in three's (just like they do when they go to public restrooms). Two girls would twirl the rope and the third girl would do the jumping or I mean skipping. I never knew just how they determined whose turn it was to do the jumping and who did the twirling. Unlike us boys in all our pursuits, they surely had some polite and civilized method to determine this.

 

Even though like all the boys, I kept a good distance away (at least past the 10 feet cootie zone) from all girls including, of course, all the ones that were "skipping" rope, I did however, inadvertently overhear the rhymes they used while "skipping" rope. The few I can recall are the following:

 

"Johnny in the sugar bowl, Ha Ha Ha,

Johnny in the sugar bowl, Tra-La-La,

I told Ma, Ma told Pa,

Johnny got a whooping, Ha Ha Ha"

 

Another was:

 

"Mabel Mabel

Set the table,

Don't forget the,

RED HOT PEPPER"!

(Immediately after yelling "RED HOT PEPPER", the 2 rope twirlers would twirl the rope as fast as they could until the hapless jumper would shortly be all wrapped up in the rope, since it was impossible to maintain, "skipping" a rope that was spinning at supersonic speed.

 

Then there was this one: (I don't recall if the names were standard or names of fellow students were used).

 

"Down in the valley where the green grass grows
there sat Nette, sweet as a rose
she sang, she sang, she sang so sweet
along came Kenneth, and kissed her on the cheek
how many kisses did she get that week?
1, 2, 3, 4...."

 

Lastly, I recall one more very frightening rhyme. I must give some preliminary explanation for this one. At our ages, back then, if any guy would forget and not pay strict attention and carelessly venture inside the 10 feet "cootie zone" of any girl, all the other girls would immediately assume they were engaged to be married! This was a fate far worse than death for any of us boys!!! To add insult to injury, the REAL NAMES OF THE GUILTY BOY AND GIRL WERE USED!!! This proves beyond A shadow of a doubt that little girls are heartless and shoot their own wounded. In order to protect the reputations of the now adult men's lives, I will change the names in any of the 100's of incidences of us boys this happened to. For the girl, I will use the name "Dagmar" and for the hapless boy, "Julius". After observing this most serious miscue, all the girl rope "skippers" and twirlers would immediately yell this rhyme:

 

"Julius and Dagmar sittin' in a tree,

K-I-S-S-I-N-G

First came love,

Then came marriage,

Then came Julius with a baby carriage"

 

If this rhyme wouldn't give a boy deep complexes for the rest of his "kid life", I don't know what would! I suddenly realized after hearing that time after time against all my boy classmates, including ME a few times, that "skipping" rope wasn't as harmless as it appeared! At long last, I've finally brought to light another evil major conspiracy against all us boys by all the girls! I wonder what the statute of limitations is on something like this. If I find out I'm within it, I'm planning to contact all the girls I can recall who were in on it and turn their names over to the  FBI who will demand, under penalty of imprisonment, that they go through their attics and find all their old jump ropes and turn them all over to the FBI agents so they can confiscate all of them!!! Then, at long last, justice will finally be done!!!!! If anyone knows the whereabouts of any girls who went to Berlin Local School between the years 1954 and 1961 and "skipped" rope, please call toll free 1-800-GET ROPE.

IMPORTANT NOTICE: Please do not call me about any girls who used the K-I-S-S-I-N-G rhyme after the year 1961. Any time later than 1961 is classified P.H.F. (Post Hormone Flow).

 

Better yet, if any of you pre 1961 adult ladies still happen to have any of your old jump ropes in your attic, and you recited the rhyme about K-I-S-S-I-N-G, during the years 1954 – 1961, please email me. Please include your name, address, phone number, Social Security Number, date of birth, and your mother's maiden name and email the information to me. I'm just curious and can now laugh about it after all these years when we all said such childish things we thought were true at the time. Of course, I'm now a mature responsible adult and I absolutely bear no hard feelings or grudges even though my "kid life" was totally ruined. You can be assured that I will NOT give any of your information to anyone else; it's just for my own use for my own amusement. My email address is:  SKIP-rope@FBI.FEDERAL.GOV.US. For your convenience so I will know what you are sending me, please put in the Subject line: "K-I-S-S-I-N-G".

 

Well, as long as I'm on this subject, I mentioned at the onset that apparently no young girls these days skip rope anymore. At least I've never seen any. If any of them by chance do, it's very unlikely they still use the old "skip" rope rhymes that were used when I was a kid. No doubt, one of the modern day "skip" rope rhymes would go something like this:

 

"Ashley, Ashley where's my MP3

Ashley, Ashley I want my MTV,

On my laptop PC I will chat

While I'm eating food with no fat,

All the boys want to skip rope with us

And none of us will raise a fuss,

Yo,  look look, here comes cool Heather

With the boys doing everything together,

My grandpa told me about girls and cooties

I guess he thought it was one of his duties,

He told me this he said out of love

But Cooties we girls never heard of,

We asked our teacher Mr. Ring

He said there is no such thing,

Jason, Jason, he did fail

I told you this in my email,

Chad, Chad he's such a clone

Because he took my cell phone,

Here comes Britney pushing a carriage

She had a kid outside of marriage,

It's OK for her to be seen

She's so old at age fourteen,

Hey Hey on our MP3 we kids all love Rap

Because our grandparents say it's crap,

Let's all stop skipping now, I'm getting bored

I want to drive my brand new Ford,

I can't wait to drive it and make a scene

Because I don't have a license, I'm 13,

If I get caught I will throw no fit

My attorney will get me out of it,

I don't fear the police in blue

'Cause my attorney says we'll sue,

She will cause a lot of fights

Because they violated my civil rights,

Let's go let's go I found my key

We are modern kids you see!"

 

At this time, I must bid you all a fond farewell because I have to set the table and I don't want to forget THE RED HOT PEPPER!................

 

I'm adding a new feature at the end of each story called "Random Story Link". This link will take you to one of my past 250 or so stories you may or may not have previously read. This is different from the occasional "Related Story Link" in that the "Random Story Link" could be to any previous story and not necessarily related to the subject matter of the present story. I think it would be fun! That is if I remember to add it! J

 

Random Story Link  (I remembered this time)