Being a prolific reader, I have read some very interesting things over the years. I have very eclectic interests and the librarians are always fascinated by all the books I read on so many different subjects. Now by using CLEVNET on the Internet, I have access to over 30 libraries! I just find a book that I want by using the extensive database and reserve the book and it comes right to my “home” library in Berlin Heights! All it takes is a few mouse clicks (are “mouse clicks” exclusive groups of mice? In addition, is a “mouse pad” where mice live?) I can check out any book for 3 weeks, which gives me plenty of time to get paranoid whenever I read “Major Conspiracy” books. Of course, many of the books I read are about Major Conspiracies. (I have to know what I’m up against!) However, by doing my own research, I have actually found some conspiracy theories that were false for a change! One of which is that the song “Louie Louie” contains a lot of “dirty words” in it and in the early days, radio stations refused to play it. The reason why so many people thought it had “dirty words” in it is because nobody could understand the lyrics to it when they heard them. Now through the magic of the Internet and the Google Search Engine, I at last have the lyrics to “Louie Louie”! Check it out:

Louie Louie, oh no
Me gotta go
Aye-yi-yi-yi, I said
Louie Louie, oh baby
Me gotta go

Fine little girl waits for me
Catch a ship across the sea
Sail that ship about, all alone
Never know if I make it home

CHORUS

Three nights and days I sail the sea
Think of girl, constantly
On that ship, I dream she's there
I smell the rose in her hair.

CHORUS

Okay, let's give it to 'em, right now!

GUITAR SOLO

See Jamaica, the moon above
It won't be long, me see me love
Take her in my arms again
Tell her I'll never leave again

CHORUS

Let's take it on outa here now
Let's go!!

Hmmm, even with the lyrics, it’s still hard to figure out what they’re talking about! Oh well, there’s not one dirty word in it! Another major conspiracy “busted” (for a change).

Another major conspiracy I’ve read about is that since the 60’s, music records and CD’s have “hidden satanic messages” in them when you play them backwards. I’ve always wondered how you even can play records and CD’S backwards in the first place? Ah Ha! I managed to find someone with a CD player that can actually play CD’s backwards! When I played my massive CD collection of 60’s songs backwards on it, the only message I heard was, “Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart”.

Yet another major conspiracy, especially in the 1950’s, perpetrated by all mothers against their sons, was that if kids smoke it will “stunt” their growth. Well, I smoked when I was a kid and I’m 6 feet 2 inches tall! One more major conspiracy “busted”!

An additional major conspiracy is that the Communists are plotting to take over the world especially the United States. Hey, wait a minute, never mind, this one is true! Well, 3 out of 4 “ain’t” bad!

If I find any more major conspiracies that I can “bust”, I’ll let you know, but “don’t hold your breath”!

Oh well, at least I’ve “busted” 3 major conspiracies. Now if I could just “bust” all the rest of the 5,816 conspiracies I know about, that would be a relief!