When Tim and I were kids, we were constantly getting into EVERYTHING! We were persistently looking through places we shouldn’t have. Most of the places we rummaged through sometimes had “grown up stuff” in them and finds like these would always enthrall us. We had to be very discrete when and where we rummaged around to make sure that no grown up would catch us!  One day we went into the barn to rummage around. We figured this was safe because any grown up would just assume we went into the barn to make bombs, drink Draino, play with dynamite, gargle battery acid, or do other things like this that they figured were harmless for us anyway. Most of the places in the barn we rummaged through contained tools, parts, and things like that, nothing really interesting. This continued to be the case UNTIL we rummaged around in a big white cabinet that had mainly tools and other “knick Knacks” in it. It had an upper shelf in it that we couldn’t reach. In order to get to the upper shelf, we stood up on an old table. There we discovered a pile of magazines and took them down to see what they were. To our surprise, we found that they had weird pictures of “ladies with no clothes on” in them! The magazine was called “Sunshine & Health” (see pic below). To us preadolescent kids, the “ladies with no clothes on” pictures were somewhat interesting, but not THAT interesting. We found out much later in life that “Sunshine & Health” was a magazine about nudists and was popular in the 1950’s. I found out on the Internet that since the late 1950’s it’s no longer been published. I guess I’ll have to revise my Christmas list for my family and friends. We also found a paperback book titled Wanton Web. (See pic below) We didn’t pay any attention to that because there were no pictures in it and we didn’t know what “Wanton” meant either. We figured our Uncle Ned stashed them up there since we found a lot of our father’s stuff that was stashed in his bottom dresser drawers. We never found any of his “stuff” in the barn. Our Uncle Ned must not have had a bottom drawer in his dresser. I wonder why people that have “grown up stuff” to hide from kids always put it in the BOTTOM dresser drawers where we kids could easily rummage through and find? I’ve never had that problem since I have never had any “adult stuff to hide”. I guess I lead a very dull but enjoyable life. Well, now that I think about it. There is ONE thing I keep under folded clothes in my bottom dresser drawer. It’s one of my high school yearbooks with all my high school teacher’s first names. If you wonder why I keep my high school yearbook hidden, read the story “The Muffin Man” when you finish this one!

 

During one of our “rummaging through our parent’s bottom drawers” in their bedroom capers, we came across some other interesting things for our preadolescent state of mind and bodies. We found a thin rubber likeness of yet another “lady with no clothes on” that was open on the top and bottom. I don’t know how we found out, but later on we discovered that it was used to slide down over a liquor bottle. At the time, we thought it was odd that anyone would have something like this. On another “rummaging through our parent’s bottom drawers” in their bedroom capers, we found a little blue plastic box. On it was written, “For the man who has everything”. We opened it and found a brush that looked like a miniature toothbrush. Under it was a phrase that said, “A belly button lint brush”. On yet another “rummaging through our parent’s bottom drawers” in their bedroom capers, we found a neat silver colored dagger! Now THAT really interested us for a change! We used to have fun playing with it and “stabbing” each other.

 

The one ultimate moment of us “rummaging through our parent’s bottom drawers” in their bedroom capers came one day when no one was around. Tim and I checked the bottom drawer of our mother’s dresser for a change. Under some folded clothes we found a red box that had “Trojan” written on it. When we opened it we saw that it had a bunch of little red packets and we opened one. We found a neat “balloon”. We wondered why they would keep “balloons” hidden in their “bottom dresser drawer for adult stuff”. After all, balloons were for kids. Why should THEY have “balloons” and not us! We each opened a packet and started blowing up the “balloon”! We then figured that we’d take ALL the “balloon” packets. When our mother showed up later she was really upset! She found us by following the trail of opened, empty red “balloon” packets. She ask us in a stern voice if we had been in her bottom dresser drawer (of course we had, what kind of a question was that?) We figured she was upset because we had discovered and taken all of HER balloons. She then yelled at us and told us to NEVER go through any of their dresser drawers again! (Of course we did anyway). Looking back, I’m sure some of the reasons she was so upset at us was that our father had to make a special trip to the drugstore. In those days you had to ask the pharmacist (and hope it wasn’t a woman) for “balloons” at the local drugstore. No doubt the biggest reason was, that she was afraid we’d ask her what the “balloons” really were! It’s a good thing we assumed they were just big “balloons”. I’m sure that was a great relief to her! Obviously, one of their “balloons” burst 9 months before we were born! (All protests and complaints may be emailed to trojan/quality_control@aol.com). Later on during one of our “rummaging through our parent’s bottom drawers” in their bedroom capers, we found another box of “balloons” in the same place! This time the “balloon” box was blue but had the same word “Trojan” written on it. We opened a blue “balloon” packet and found that the “balloon” had clear slippery stuff all over it that looked like soft Jell-O. We figured they sabotaged the “balloons” so we couldn’t blow them up. At least That time they DID get to keep all the “balloons” to themselves! During our childhood, we sure led a deprived (or was it “depraved”) life!