As I contemplate great “slaps” in history, I immediately think of the famous General Patton slap in Sicily during World War II. Being an avid student of World War II history, I know all the details of the incident and even that the soldier looked like Michael Constentine (oh, wait, that was the movie version).  The soldier’s name was “Private Kuhl” (I’m just showing off what little is left of my once famous photographic memory). These days I have a “Polaroid Memory”, i.e. a minute later I forget what it was I was supposed to remember. There was also that TV commercial slap that was accompanied by the statement, “Thanks, I needed that”. Of course there’s the Three Stooges “Moe” slaps. Among the other historical slaps, there is one that has been lost to history (until now). This is one that happened to me! As a kid it was certainly no rare thing to get slapped by my mother and/or father. In the 1950’s every kid got slapped by their parents, no big deal. This was usually for “back talk”, swearing, or “sass”. Our dad would “cuff” or “backhand” us as opposed to slapping. When I was bad, I remember my dad telling my mother, “Well, slap him down”! I only remember getting only one slap each time rather than “slapping down” which would entail several successive, repeated slaps at one time.  I sure got enough “one time slaps”! Growing up, I often wondered who got slapped more, Curly or Larry of the Three Stooges or me! I think it’s a close call. Now, it was no big deal to get slapped by your mother, but imagine getting slapped by someone else’s mother! That’s what happened to me and it really shocked me! Our parents weren’t what I consider overly strict, but one of my mother’s friends was! Bev & Bob were VERY strict with all their kids! I used to be really afraid of her, but figured she wouldn’t dare discipline me or any other kid that wasn’t hers. One night I found out how wrong that assumption was! One summer night when I was around 11 or 12 or so, all Bev’s kids were out on the front lawn “messing around”. Tim and I decided to scare the youngest kid, Charlie, about the bats! They flew around just after dusk and would dive at us and we told Charlie that they were “Vampire Bats” and would land on his neck and suck out all his blood. Charlie was probably around 4 or 5 at the time. We kept yelling, “The Bats The Bats” at Charlie giving him “fair warning” that they were about to alight on his neck for an evening meal of all his blood! He ran into the house crying and screaming in terror. A few minutes later Bev came running out mad as a hatter and got her face right up to mine like a drill sergeant and said, “Did you scare Charlie about the Bats?!” I no sooner said ”Yeah!” (probably in my normal “cocky” way”, when she gave my a hard lightening fast slap right across my left facial cheek! She did the same to Tim. I stood there in shock and feeling really weird that someone else’s mother actually slapped me! It goes without saying that after that incident, my mother’s friendship rapidly cooled with Bev and Bob! As soon as I came out of my initial shock, I had some “choice” thoughts about Bev myself! I don’t think I ever spoke to her after that! The really weird thing was that I saw her about 15 years ago in Huron Drug Mart and didn’t say a whole lot to her even then, some 28 years after the slapping incident! I’m not a violent person, but the Irish in me wanted to say to her, “Remember the Bats”, and then give her a hard slap right across her left facial cheek! Oh well, thankfully I have never acted out any past grudges I’ve had with countess people, or I would be writing this from Death Row!!!