This anecdote follows my recurrent theme of, "Things you don't see anymore these days".  Back in the 1950's and 60's, all of us kids wore canvas sneakers. That may have been their generic name, but to us they were "Tennis" or "Gym" Shoes. No self-respecting kid would ever consider wearing anything else, especially in the summer. Interestingly enough, I can't recall if we were allowed to wear our "tennis shoes" to school since in those days, the school had strict dress codes. The only chance we had to wear them at school was in gym class. The two major brands of "Tennis shoes" were Red Ball Jets and Keds. I always wore Red Ball Jets that had a red ball on the back of the heel of each shoe.  The reason I just had to have Red Ball Jets was the result of a brilliant ad campaign by Madison Avenue. The commercials on TV for Red Ball Jets audaciously stated that when you wore Red Ball Jets you would (and I quote). "Run a little faster! Jump a little higher! The boy in the Red Ball Jets.". When I laced up my Red Ball Jets and ran outside to jump and run, I could actually feel the spring in my feet! While in my Red Ball Jets, I could jump over the barn and "run like the wind"! (At least in my own mind.)  I always figured that they must have had built in springs or the soles were covered with "Flubber" dyed white to match the soles. Ah, a classic case of mind over matter. Sadly, when I got older, I found the inverse to this adage, "If I mind, it really doesn't matter"! I never spent much brainpower in trying to figure out just how these tennis shoes improved my running speed or jumping distance. When you are a kid, you don't dwell on these things, but just pragmatically apply all things without thought.

 

One of the fun things about wearing "tennis shoes" was when the soles got wet, they would squeak while walking across a floor. I used to really irritate my mother when after coming in the house in my Red Ball Jets after a rain, as I walked across the linoleum kitchen floor I would drag my feet and produce a loud high-pitched "squeak" with each step. Another occasion of high-pitched "tennis shoe" squeaking was playing basketball on the school gym floor. In these instances, the soles didn't even need to be wet. If I only could have figured out the reason for that, I could have really irritated my mother even during dry days! I think one of the reasons I wear boots 99.931% of the time these days is when I was a kid, I was plagued with two maladies. One was having my shoes constantly come untied, and the other was constantly having my "barn door open" (i.e. the zipper on all of my trousers always being open). The former was the result of having defective zippers, which no doubt were not inspected by the zipper inspectors because the ones used on all my trousers were manufactured during the zipper inspector's lunch break. Obviously all the shoelaces I had also suffered the same fate for the same reason.

 

In those days, all the boy's tennis shoes were high topped. No normal boy would wear the "low cut" ones, which as every boy knew, were only for girls. The girl's shoes also came in different colors. My Red Ball Jets were always white, at least when I first took them out of the box when they were brand new. Immediately thereafter they would be very dirty with no white ever showing again. We never had them washed; after all, only sissies would ever dare to tread in clean washed tennis shoes. Any sissy boy that had clean tennis shoes was immediately shunned by the rest of us "He Men". Of course, all the girl's low cut tennis shoes were always immaculate. Every one of we pre pubescent boys were automatically members of the "He- Man Woman Haters Club". This club of course, was founded by the Little Rascals. The oath we all took was based on the original oath below (substituting our names, of course):

Spanky:  Let’s start a club right now. The He-man Woman-   Haters. I'll be president.

Alfalfa:     And I'll be second president, and you can be third president.

Buckwheat: Thanks.

Spanky:  Alright, get up and do exactly what I do. Put your hand on your heart, and raise your other hand. We, the He-man Woman-haters club...

Alfalfa and Buckwheat:  We, the he-man woman-haters club...

Spanky:  ...promise not to fall for this Valentine’s business...

Alfalfa and Buckwheat:  ...promise not to fall for this Valentine’s business...

Spanky:  ...because girls are the bunk.

Alfalfa and Buckwheat:  ...because girls are the bunk.

 

If all we Baby Boomer guys had remained loyal to this oath throughout our adult lives, the divorce rate would have been zero! Most importantly, in later life we wouldn't have had wives to secretly wash our tennis shoes and turning us into instant sissies. Alas, hormones trump pre pubescent oaths every time!

 

I have exhaustively searched the Internet with no success to see if they still make Red Ball Jets tennis shoes. I sure would like to find some. I did find a pair of original Red Ball Jets on EBay, but they were probably at least 40 years old and not in my size 12. Besides, they look like they had been washed so in spite of my Baby Boomer longing to have a pair again, I can't take the risk of being tagged a sissy with clean tennis shoes. 

 

I don't wear the current excuse for canvas tennis shoes or "running shoes" as they are called. Most people seem to refer to them as the generic name "Nikes" Somehow it's just not the same. Alas, what ever happened to, "What goes around comes around"? Apparently, people these days just don't want to run faster or jump higher.