In several past stories, I illustrated how Tim and I could take a seemingly innocuous event and make it mischievous. This latest example is how we could transform even the act of kids eating ice cream cones into an aggravating act.

 

Before we finally obtained our driver's licenses, Tim and I used to ride our bikes to nearby places and hitchhike to such distant and exotic places as Norwalk and Huron. Tim and I would often hitchhike to Huron to partake of the delicious delectables offered at the Pied Piper. Among our favorites were the big swirl ice cream cones. My mouth still waters to this day when I indulge in a rare purchase of a chocolate swirl cone at the Pied Piper in Huron. When we were 14 or 15, on a hot Saturday summer's day, we made a pilgrimage via of hitchhiking to Huron to buy the aforementioned swirly cones. We threw caution to the wind and purchased the biggest chocolate cone they offered which was encased in a giant cone. It cost about 50 cents if memory serves me correctly (which it often does not as I get older). From a "kid's prospective", that cone was huge and the ice cream seemed to be a foot tall. We eagerly started to lick the daylights out of them since it was a hot afternoon and started walking east along Route 6. I cannot recall why we walked down that way, but along we went. About the time we had gotten to the Huron River Bridge, Tim realized that he couldn't finish the entire giant super chocolate swirly ice cream cone. As we started to cross the bridge, Tim spotted a large cabin cruiser boat tied up at the bottom of the bridge about 40 feet or so below. He quickly scanned below to see if any crewmembers were aboard. Having not seen any, he bent over the side of the bridge rail and threw the ice cream cone down toward the big cabin cruiser. It hit the bow foredeck and went "SPLAT"!!! The whole deck had a big splotch of chocolate ice cream all over it! We got a real kick out of that and started running and laughing down the sidewalk until we had crossed the bridge. Looking back, I can imagine some fastidious rich guy getting on board his very expensive boat and seeing a large dried out splotch of chocolate swirly ice cream and cone shrapnel over the bow of his boat! I imagine he gave out a series of expletives worthy of a sailor. Even now as I think about it, I still get a chuckle out of it.

 

On another occasion when Tim couldn't finish a big ice cream cone, another very humorous event ensued. This time we hitchhiked to Norwalk. On most occasions, we rarely had any rational reasons to hitchhike anywhere, but we did it anyway. When you're in your early teens, you don't need any rational reasons to do anything, and we fulfilled that fact to the letter. While we were sauntering along the downtown sidewalks of Norwalk, we got hungry for ice cream. I do not recall which establishment we entered, but we saw a sign that said one could get a super colossal cone with 4 scoops for a quarter as I recall. Of course, Tim jumped on that great deal. He got the 4 scoops of chocolate on a sugar cone rather than the regular yellow cone. His super cone looked like a "drumstick" on steroids. I was amazed that he could walk with 4 scoops stacked so high. I recall that I just got 2 scoops because the way I walk with my patented "bounce", the large 4 scoop column would have surely fallen all over the sidewalk as I sauntered along. We traveled a piece down the sidewalk with our cones  "licking and looking". As usual, once again Tim's eyes were bigger than his stomach. After he had eaten about the first 3 scoops, he was apparently full. Now any rational person would have looked for a sidewalk trash can to deposit the remnants of a partially eaten ice cream cone, but not us. As we passed 2 brick buildings, there was a gap between them of about 3 feet or so. Tim ducked between them with his half eaten cone and stuck it on the outside brick wall of one of the buildings. We then walked along the sidewalk at a brisk pace and were both chuckling. The really funny thing about this is that about a week later, be hitchhiked to Norwalk again (for no apparent rational reason as usual). We passed those same 2 brick buildings again and decided to look between them to see the what the stain from the ice cream cone that he stuck on the wall would look like. Apparently, after the ice cream melted a week previously, it caused the sugar cone to adhere to the wall. The cone was still stuck to the wall and had flattened against the wall and drooped down. My goodness, was that ever funny. We walked down the sidewalk laughing hysterically. As a matter of fact, just writing this as I think back has caused me to laugh hysterically once again! The cats are looking at me with quizzical looks that indicate that they must think their master has flipped out. Cats are very perceptive creatures indeed.

 

Everything was better and tasted better when we were kids. I used to love to eat "Drum Sticks" with the sugar cone and vanilla ice cream with the chocolate coated top with peanuts. I used to eat the top off until it was even with the top of the cone, then bite off the bottom tip and suck the ice cream down through the softened cone once it was partially melted and soft. I then would eat the soft ice cream soaked cone. Alas, the last several years I've tried that, I found that the inside of the cone is coated with chocolate and the cone never gets soft. It just isn't the same! L  I have entertained the notion of purchasing one of the "new type" Drumsticks and sticking it on the outside wall of the store and go back a week or so later and see if it was still stuck there and drooped down as Tim's did years earlier. Odds are that it will just fall off since now days the ingredients in "ice cream" are so different then they were when I was a kid. Moreover, the chocolate coating in the inside of the cone would no doubt prevent it from drooping.  In fact I'm positive it would not even stick to the side of a building! Now don't get the idea that I've actually tried this experiment in recent years. This deduction is only theory. At my age I certainly would never attempt this experiment. By the way, did you know that the outside rear wall of the Huron IGA is brick. There's no connection here, I just thought this was an interesting point of trivia.

 

An additional mischievous thing I used to do with ice cream cones used to really bother my mother. She absolutely could not stand to hear anyone crunching things as they ate. When I would crunch the bottom of an ice cream cone, she used to yell at me, "DON'T DO THAT! YOU KNOW THAT REALLY IRRATATES ME!!!!" Well, needless to say, that just inspired me to do it more. When we had ice cream cones at home and when I would crunch the bottom of the cone, after she yelled at me, I would go to the door, give one last big CRUNCH, and run out the door laughing. In those days I specialized in irritating anyone I could. Some people just have the gift and talent to do that. The more I think about it, the more I realize that as a kid I was a real rascal! It is no wonder that my parents "drank heavily" on many occasions.  I imagine when I finally matured(?) that the stock in the hard liquor industry fell precipitously. I don't drink and never have which in the end is indeed the final irony!