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Application for a Top Secret Clearance for
Access to Descriptions of How Mike T. Got Back At His Sadistic Teachers While Appearing Totally Innocent Name_____________________________________________________ Address___________________________________________________ Sex: Male_____
Female_____ Don't Know_____ Yes___ No___ Grandmother's 3rd
cousin's maiden name__________________________ Give at least 66 notarized
BAD character references from
people that have known you your entire life. Former teachers are preferred.
(Please submit the information on a separate sheet and attach to this application.) Did you always like
and get along with all of your teachers from the first grade through
your senior year in High School?
Yes_____ No_____ Did any teachers ever
give you detention after school? Yes____
No____ Do you like liver and
spinach? Yes_____ No_____ Did any kids in
school ever call you a "Tattle Tale"?
Yes____ No____ Define the term
"Passive Aggressive" _____________________________ Were you ever accused
of being The Teacher's Pet?
Yes_____ No_____ What is your dog
and/or cat's name? ____________________________ On a separate piece
of paper, please state in essay form with at least 12,931 words
why you think it's any of your business what things I did to get back at all my
teachers. Do you know the
whereabouts of ANY former Berlin Local School teachers, including the Berlin
Local High School Principal, Mr. Garland
aka "BoBo"? Yes____ No____ Do you know the
recipe for Fried Egg Plant?
Yes_____ No_____ Did you ever cheat on
any of the following tests: (Indicate) Blood Test_____ Urine Test_____ TB Test_____ PAP Test_____ Pregnancy Test_____ Taste Test_____ IQ Test_____ What is the capital
of South Dakota?___________________________ Did you actually
read any books for schoolbook reports? Yes__ No__ If you are standing
at a blackboard to diagram a sentence and you are right handed, which hand do
you use to hold the eraser behind you? Right____ Left____
Both____ Did you ever chew gum
in class? Yes____ No____ Do you like fruitcake? Yes____
No____ Do you know how to
make a spit wad? Yes____ No____ Did you ever
study in Study Hall? Yes____ No____ Did you ever
study for a test? Yes____ No____ Did you ever
volunteer to collect the test papers for any teacher? Yes____
No____ Which do you wear? Boxers
_____ Jockey shorts_____ (Ladies only) Did you ever forge
your parent's signature on your grade card? Yes_____ No_____ Did you know where
the school library was? Yes____ No____ Did you ever skip
school? Yes____ No____ Did you ever go
downtown while in elementary and Jr. High without a note from you parent or
guardian? Yes____ No____ What brand of trash
bags do you use?____________________________ Did you have a
nickname in school? Yes____ No____ (If yes, what was
it?)__________________________________________________________ Were you ever a
member of any of the following? (Indicate) National Honor Society____ School Band____ Spanish Club____ Merit Roll____ GAA____
FTA____ FFA____ PTA____
Drama Club____ FHA____ Student Council____ Class Officer____ Other____ Did you ever learn to
do any of the following: (Indicate) Conjugate
verbs____ Invert fractions____ Long division____ Multiplication Table____ Round off numbers____ Solve Story Problems____ Anything____ After completely
filling out this form, please mail it to the below indicated places. NOTE: This is just a preliminary
application. If this is approved, then the final application will be mailed to
you. Please mail to: Mike Copy to: CIA PTA AA AAA YMCA CIA CYA |