When I was a kid, one of my MANY obsessions was to get a REAL monkey. I was constantly badgering my parents for one and they always said, “We’ll see”, which I later discovered really meant NO! Parents just said, “We’ll see” to give kids a false hope so that the parents wouldn’t have to put up with a tantrum resulting from them just coming out and saying, “NO!” I appealed to my grandmother “Ollie” that I wanted a monkey. She said “OK”! Oh boy! Since she didn’t say, “We’ll see”, I figured it was “in the bag”! A little while after that, I finally got my monkey, a STUFFED one!  Obviously, she was part of the major conspiracy by my parents to keep me from getting a real monkey! I did have some fun with the stuffed monkey, however. Tim and I used to let it fall down the stairs and with its lifeless arms and legs; it would do a realistic tumble all the way down the stairs then end up in a heap at the bottom. With all the things we tumbled down the stairs, this one was the best! The worst was a lead rabbit that just “clunked” down the stairs. Eventually one of its ears broke off. We did have a Slinky that was designed to go down stairs, but we rarely, if ever, used it for that. After all, if something is made for going down stairs, then it wasn’t fun for us. It was much more fun and interesting to tumble stuff down the stairs that wasn’t designed for that. As a matter of fact, we rarely, if EVER, used anything in the way it was intended and designed for. When all is said and done, I STILL want a real live monkey!

 

Later on, when old Tarzan movies were on TV, I used to really look forward to them because they had a monkey in them! I used to love it when it would flip over and land on its feet, make funny noises, and clap! Yes, I remember its name was “Cheetah”. I always thought it was odd to name a monkey with the name of another animal species. If he was going to do that, why didn’t Tarzan just call him “Monkey?” Oh well, what do you expect from someone who lives with a woman and had a kid that wasn’t his! I guess Tarzan was too busy swinging on vines and calling elephants to tramp down unruly natives to “make his own kid”! I used to love it when he yelled, “Oom Gowwah!” and the elephants all knew which unruly native village to go into and tramp down. Maybe after he said “Oom Gowwah”, he gave them directions to that specific village. I used to love to hear his call. (Click here to hear it!) 

 

When we were in the 1^st grade, we went on a field trip to the Cleveland Zoo (See pic below). Of course, I couldn’t wait to get to the “Monkey House”! I remember that all the Chimps would get a mouth full of water then climb up to the top of their cage and spew it all over the crowd! I thought that was really neat and after that I wanted a monkey even more! I also remember seeing the “Today Show” on TV with Dave Garroway and “Zippy” the chimp! (See pic below). WOW, did I ever enjoy that! I always thought it was neat to see a monkey wearing clothes “just like us!”

 

On the little rascals they had a chimp in the episode called “Divot Diggers” Now that chimp was the best of all! It made funny sounds and made its lips turn out to make “big lips”. In one scene, it’s driving a golf course tractor and chasing everyone! Man! Is that ever funny!  Of all the Little Rascals I have on tape and CD, that’s the episode I watch the most, and I have ALL of the episodes. (And all of the 97 Three Stooges with CURLY! If that’s not “Baby Boomer” heaven, I don’t know what is!) In fact one of the Three Stooges episodes called “Idle Roomers” has a monkey in it too. I’ll bet you’d never guess what my favorite episode is!

 

I know my wife would let me have one; since she’s already living with 1 “monkey” now, one more won’t make any difference as far as she’s concerned!

 

Well I guess I’ve “Monkeyed” around long enough. I had more fun than a barrel of monkeys! I hoped you enjoyed my “monkey shines”! )Hmmm, isn’t a "Monkey” a way to get into a locked monastery?)

 

Monkeys are VERY EXPENSIVE! So I’m soliciting donations to be able to afford one on my retirement pay. Please click on the “Donation” pic below to donate!