Sometimes I wonder if hand written notes
on either yellow or white ruled notebook
paper originated and were invented in school. After we graduated from
school have any of us ever found it necessary to pass notes to anyone except
in school class? Just some "food for thought". Where would we
students have been if we could not communicate with our fellow students by
passing notes during class? In elementary school we passed silly little notes
about recess rendezvous. In high school after our teenage hormones started to
flow in generous quantities, we guys passed love notes to the girl of our
dreams (i.e. fantasies), which at
that age was anything that wore a skirt. Unfortunately, whenever I
passed love notes to a girl ANY girl, they were ignored and I was faced with an
icy look, or as I called it, "The Bad Eye". Being caught passing notes in any
grade was a serious offense which was as serious as being caught chewing gum in
class! The consequences usually resulted in detention for an hour after class,
or for repeat offenders, a paddling by Mrs. Allen the elementary school principal.
In high school, it was an embarrassing tongue lashing by the teacher in front
of the whole class, including 1 hour detention. In the worst case scenario, some
teachers would say, "Well, let's
have you read the note to the whole
class". This would prove to be very embarrassing especially in High
School if it were a love note to some unsuspecting girl or anyone wearing a
skirt (excluding Scotchmen). The result was that not only the girl found out
someone "liked" her, but the whole class now knew as well! The only
time, among countless times of passing notes all through school, I was ever
caught passing a note was in the 6th grade. I don't recall what was
in the note (I'm sure it wasn't a love note in those pre-hormone days), but I
remember Mrs. Hutchins making me stand in the corner for what seemed like
hours.
The one kind of "legal" note
that the school passed out to us were the mimeographed notes to take
home. They always started out with, "Dear
Parent or Guardian". When I was in grade school I never knew what a
"Guardian" was. I thought it strange why the extra word was in there
since everyone had a parent I figured. I never bothered to ask any grownup what
that word meant and thus went through my entire grade school experience not
knowing. In those days of public school I hadn't yet acquired the vast hunger
and quest for knowledge I attained early in college and have had ever since. Most
of us were very glad when we got such a note to take home to our parents or
"Guardians" because they were always mimeographed in those pre copier
days and they really smelled GOOOOOD! "Ditto fluid" is one of my top
10 favorite smells. Whenever we had a test throughout school, they were always
mimeographed. Since I never studied for any test all through school, I looked
forward to snorting the fresh that light purple ditto fluid! I would put my
nose right on the paper and inhale that wonderful pungent aroma! I never got
yelled at by any teacher because I have always maintained that they like the
smell of ditto fluid too! I used to love to slowly walk past the school office
if they were using the mimeograph i.e.
"ditto" machine because the air smelled like ditto fluid! This was
much better than putting my nose on the paper and smelling and smelling and it
was much less noticeable as well, of course. The office people who ran off all
that ditto stuff must have been in a perpetual state of "highness"!
Lucky stiffs. Most of the time just before a test, the teacher would leave the
room and go get the mimeographed questions from the school office. I'll bet on
their way back to our classroom when no one was looking that they themselves
put their nose on the papers and smelled the ditto fluid too! I'll just bet! My
theory is further substantiated by the fact that we had some really
"flakey" teachers in school. Could this have been the result of
snorting too much ditto fluid? I believe it's very possible. OK OK, now you're
wondering what my excuse is! Genes, genes.
Alas, ditto fluid is now a thing of the
past and with it the great smell I've missed ever since. I tried to smell a copy
made from a copier when they first came out several years ago, but it smelled terrible! Maybe I can check EBay
and find an old sealed bottle of ditto fluid! WOW! That would be paradise on
earth for me. I'm sure the price would be prohibitly high from many other Baby
Boomers bidding the price up. Hey, I'm not the only one who liked the smell of
ditto fluid. I noticed practically all the kids in my class were snorting it
too. I imagine ditto fluid contains petroleum spirits and thus would get
someone "high" if they smelled it too long. Of course if I had any
now, I would smell it too long and get really "high" and goofy. Yeah,
I know what you're thinking: How would we
know, right? Maybe I went through my
entire 12 years of school "high" on ditto fluid from smelling all
those tests and notes to send home to a "Parent" or
"Guardian". That would explain a lot of things!
The smell of chalk dust, pencil lead,
and ditto fluid are the smells I best remember from school. The first time I
smelled ditto fluid was in the 1st grade when they gave us those
various mimeographed shapes to color with those big fat crayons. They had the
color you were supposed to color each form labeled at the bottom. They either
wanted to know if we knew our colors or they tried to weed out any kid who was
color blind. This was apparent if the color blind kid always colored every
shape gray regardless of what color was called for. Being color blind during
the 1950's wasn't a problem until color televisions came out later on. A very
serious condition arose however, if a kid was both color blind and
couldn't read! The school probably concluded that either color blind kids couldn't
read or kids that can't read are color blind. Regardless (there is no
such word as "irregardless" – Look it up!), the 1st grade
is where I first got hooked on snorting ditto fluid. Of course if they still
made ditto fluid copies these days, they would force you to enroll in DFSA
(Ditto Fluid Snorters Anonymous). I hear they make a very good first
"impression".
Well, I hope I have a nice day,
"Ditto" for you too.
FOR AN EXAMPLE OF A "DITTO"
MIMEOGRAPHED TEST LIKE THE KIND WE HAD IN SCHOOL, CLICK ON THE LINK BELOW:
