| Alright, I'll leave the subject of pigs for now since I don't want to "hog" the subject. This is about a snapping turtle that I had a very scary encounter with. We were a not very sweet 16 when this incident happened. It was in May and we went down to one of our favorite creeks and found that a nest of baby snapping turtles had been upset by the strong current from the recent heavy rains. We snagged a couple of young snappers about the size of a 50 cent piece. A night or 2 later I was getting ready to take a bath when I got the brilliant idea to take a baby turtle in the bathtub with me. I really was amused as I watched the little thing swim around me in the bath water. It looked like it needed a rest (bad assumption) so I picked it up and laid back and set it on my stomach. I watched it as it crawled around and eventually went a little too far "south". I'll never forget the scene as it stopped and stared, then turned it's little head sideways and with the speed of light clamped down on (how shall I say it), the end of my "manhood" (or "boyhood") and wouldn't let go!!!!! I emitted an unworldly shreik I'm sure not heard since Dante's Inferno! My mother ran to the outside of the bathroom door and ask what was wrong? Between panic and pain and through clenched teeth, I immediately replied, "NOTHING, NOTHING AT ALL"! After repeated blows with my hand, it FINALLY let go. Needless to say, I NEVER took a bath with any living creature again. The moral of this story is... If you want companionship in the bathtub, -GRAB A RUBBER DUCKY!!! |
