| Even though my college and graduate school professors thought I was a genius, I certainly never thought so. (I've always been very proud of my humility). Some have wondered why I never went into medicine, science, bomb diffusing, etc. Well... I'll tell you why! Now it can be told! It's because I've ALWAYS been a "Klutz"! Good coordination has alluded me my whole life. Most say that "I could mess up a train wreck". It's as if I never outgrew my teenage awkwardness (along with never outgrowing of lot of other things too). I could give dozens of examples of my "klutziness" and accident proneness, but I will limit it to just 1 example here. This is known as my imfamous "Gas Barrel" Story. One summer afternoon when I was around 14 or 15, we were getting ready to bale hay and Uncle Ned told me to gas up the tractor and baler. I used to love to bale hay in my youth, but now every summer when we bale, my love is rapidly waning each year! In my youth I used to say, "I'd rather make hay than make love"! (Now I can't do either one very well! On the 1st thing, it's been several months, and on the 2nd thing, it's been several years. By now I've "lost the instructions"). In my youth we had an old New Holland baler that was powered by a 4 cylinder Wisconsin air-cooled engine. It was very difficult and dangerous to start because it didn't have a starter. Instead you had to use a crank similiar to a Model T, except it was much more dangerous because of the design and the engine compression of the powerful engine. I started the tractor with the baler already hooked up and headed for the gas barrel for the refueling task. After filling both the tractor and the baler tanks, I started to pull away from the elevated gas barrel. I had to turn very sharp to avoid hitting John R.'s car which was parked nearby in front of me. I was determined to be VERY careful and avoid one of my common "slip ups" such as hitting the car with the front of the tractor because I wasn't watching, which was just the sort of thing I could do. I went very slowly in low gear and avoided any mishaps with the tractor and parked car. I was so concerned with the front of me, that I neglected to look in back of me! Just as I cleared the car and was gloating in not causing any mishaps, I noticed that the tractor suddenly started to "labor" and the right wheel started to lose traction in the driveway stone. I then thought to look behind me just in time to see the gas barrel tipping over! (The long hay shute on the very end of the baler hit one leg of the gas barrel as I was turning). It came to rest with the end down on the ground. (The one end with the flap top fill hole, naturally)! I remember, after my momentary shock and surprize, of seeing the gas shooting out the hole like a fire hose nozzle! I yelled, "Ned Ned, the gas barrel fell over..." John R., the owner of the parked car, was the first to reach the scene and he was holding the flap top closed as best he could to try and slow down the gas flow as much as he could. He was doing this, I might add, with a LIT cigarette in his mouth! Also, the river of gasoline was heading downhill toward our trash dump area, which was BURNING at the time I might also add! Miraculously, the river of gasoline never reached the buring trash and John R. didn't cause a fire or explosion either! They say we all have a life-long "Guardian Angel" who stays with us constantly. I'll bet I've been through several of them during my life time thus far! They probably draw straws to see who will be struck with me next after the latest one resigns or goes on "Angel Convalescence Leave" from exhaustion and/or mental strain! The gas barrel was repaired and the bent leg straightened out somewhat and served for several more years until Tim finally retired it several years ago. It now sits about 20 feet from my burned truck, rusting in "Zemke Land" (our personal junk yard back in the lane), ironically in the same position it was when I knocked it over! I'm starting to wonder if "Zemke Land" is a junk yard, or a "Monument Field" to my ubiquitous "Klutziness" and accident proneness??? (CLICK HERE TO SEE A PIC OF THE OLD GAS BARREL!!!) |
