| THIS WILL BE THE 1st INSTALLMENT OF SOME AMUSING ANECDOTES ABOUT MY FRATERNAL TWIN BROTHER, TIM, AND MYSELF AS WE GREW UP ON THE FAMILY FARM IN THE 1950's. THESE ARE ALL TRUE STORIES!!! AFTER COLLEGE, MILITARY SERVICE, ETC., WE CAME BACK. WE FOUND OUT WHAT DOROTHY KNEW, "THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME..." |
| "A (WET) SILK PURSE FROM A SOW'S EAR" |
| When we were kids (most say we still are), we used to go into the barn and move the floorboards aside to form a gap. Below were sleeping pigs that were minding their own business. They usually slept on their sides and when we saw one over the gap in the floorboards we had just made, we would then urinate and aim for the inside of their ears. We knew we hit the target when they would suddenly jump up, grunt, and rapidly shake their head from side to side with the sound of their ears flapping against their heads! If any of you have vivid memories from the mid-1950's of your bacon tasting a little "funny", well... now you know... |
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| "RIDE 'EM PIG BOY" ! |
| On other occasions (when we weren't otherwise engaged in general mischief elsewhere), we would sneak up on the same hapless sleeping pigs (the ones with the DRY ears) and stealthily straddle their backs and as they awoke with much surprise, we would "ride" them about 10 feet out of the barn until their back legs would collapse from our weight. (You PETA people can relax since it never harmed them in any way other than their egos). Even though we had horses to ride, it was more fun (then) to ride the pigs until they finally "squealed" on us. We did have one big boar we called "Boris Karloff" and he was large and strong enough to hold our weight and finally resigned himself to giving us a tour around the barnyard while on his back. |
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| MORE STORIES... |